Saturday, September 25, 2010
I need a... Hug!
I am usually not one for hugs. I use them in greetings when people are more familiar and it feels necesary, but to tell you the truth, there are probably less than five people in my life that I hug because I want to hug them. I'm just one of those people who likes my space, you know, the "stay out of my bubble" feeling of personal space. Which is what makes it so weird that I WANT a hug now. It might be because I am sick and having to take care of myself and feeling bad that I am wasting day after day in the hostel trying to feel better when I need to be exploring and taking advantage of being in Australia, but I need a hug! And I've really never thought I'd feel like that. Even when people use that expression, in scenarios when one would like to have a hug, I rarely want a hug. If I am upset, I usually do not want hugs. People want to give you hugs when they think you're upset, but it doesn't help me at all. But I, right now, sitting sick and alone in my private hostel, for the first time in my life, want a hug. And I am out of luck, most likely. I might get a hug tonight at dinner with the girls, but I might not. I might not get a hug until Matt gets here on November 23rd! I really doubt it though, because I have gotten quite a few hugs since I have been in Australia from various people I have met, but I could, especially if I made a concisous effort, go until late November without hugging another human being. That is a cold thought. I don't know why I am trying to have cold thoughts. I'm not actually trying, but like I said, stuck inside with this awful cough and 5 channels on TV, including 2 with pre-footy all day commentary, one with music videos, and one with an Australian robotic dog, I don't have much to do but become resentful of the things I am missing out on out there. Since I don't have anything to do until tonight at 7pm, I decided to channel my energies and plan what I am going to be doing once I am well. I am not doing anything major until next week, maybe Tuesday. This completely knocks out almost a week of what could have been fun in Melbourne. I was planning on staying here longer than a week though, so I will just stay a little longer before departing for Tasmania (which I am very excited about! but need to be completely well because it will be COLD down there.) I guess this hug realization is just another way of saying I am alone on the other side of the world. That fact itself doesn't even bother me, but it's kind of a weird thought that the people that would hug me daily are the ones that are so far out of reach.